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How To Get And Stay Optimistic Each Day
6 min read
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Optimism is the knack of looking at yourself and the world positively. Optimists expect things to go well, and in setting up that virtuous cycle, things go well for optimists – they’re happier, healthier and wealthier.
But if you inclined towards pessimism, don’t despair. Even the world-renowned expert on learned optimism, Martin Seligman, used to be a card-carrying pessimist. Seligman’s work and his public journey from pessimist to optimist demonstrate that optimism is not innate. You can reset that mindset. You might tend to be an optimist or a pessimist, but it’s not hardwired, nor is it inevitable that you stay pessimistic. You can choose to be more optimistic. It’s all a matter of mindset.
Skeptical? Read on…
If optimism seems a bit naive to you, even maybe a bit foolish, prepare to be surprised. There is an increasing body of evidence that says that being an optimist can have a measurable positive effect on:
· Your physical health: optimists have lower blood pressure and cholesterol. Combine this with optimists’ greater resilience in dealing with stress, and it means they’re at a much lower risk of developing heart disease. They also heal faster and have more effective immune systems.
· Your mental health: optimists have measurably lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol in their systems and have a higher threshold for dealing with stress. They are at a lower risk of developing depression and have higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction.
· Your business and career success: optimists tend to radiate confidence and are more successful in getting business loans approved by financial institutions. People with optimistic outlooks use setbacks like missing out on a promotion or negative performance reviews as opportunities to prepare better for the next interview or to make themselves more attractive to recruiters. They get ahead faster than their more pessimistic colleagues because they have a can-do attitude. Optimists get promoted faster, and more often.
Studies have shown that optimists even get higher starting salaries. And live longer. But you don’t have to be Pollyanna or Jiminy Cricket to have an optimistic view of life. Optimism is not blind positivity. In fact, optimists are often realists; they see the wrongs and injustices of the world, they acknowledge failure and sickness. The difference between optimism and pessimism is that optimists expect and plan for things to get better. They see that adversity happens to everyone, that’s part of the deal of being alive. But it’s not the end, not the whole story. Hard times come, and hard times go. Optimists look for the opportunities for good times to come sooner.
Pessimistic about your chances of becoming an optimist?
If you still doubt that you can overcome the habit of a lifetime, consider this. Scientists agree that only about 25% of optimism is inheritable. Much more important is the environment, especially the home environment where you grew up. The messages you were given by your parents about your worth as a person, the safety of the world and what you could reasonably expect, all contribute to your mindset whether positive or negative.
You can reset your mindset by adjusting the part of your brain known as the Reticular Activating System (RAS). The RAS influences how you perceive the outside world. Much like your email software it can be adjusted to filter and prioritize the data it receives. A negative mindset will see fault and danger in the world and expect things to go badly. A positive mindset will see opportunities, things to be grateful for, and expect things to go well. You can shift your mindset by choosing to be aware of your thoughts and by adjusting to the positive. Over time your RAS will reset, and you will be living a more optimistic life.
Here are some proven strategies to help you build your optimism…
1. Notice your thoughts
Take a minute to notice the continual commentary in your head. What sort of messages recur? If you beat yourself up for failing, think about whether you would talk to someone else the way you talk to yourself. Probably not. Try to accept that more often than not, you do the best you can. Rescript your self-talk to something kinder and more loving.
2. Be your best you
The visualization technique is a powerful tool in resetting your mindset. The Best Possible Self-exercise developed by Laura King of the University of Missouri has been shown to be effective in shifting to a more optimistic mindset.
Take 15 minutes to write down your ideal future life. Think of how you want your life to be in 10 years’ time. Imagine everything as the best possible outcome for you from your personal life to education, hobbies, and career. Where do you want to be? Think big and write it down in as much detail as you can.
Repeat this exercise daily for two weeks, and you will see a shift in your attitude to what’s possible. Goals will emerge, ideas for how to get there and plans will start to shape themselves. You will have a strategy to achieve the best possible you.
3. Drop the perfectionism
Learn to be okay with failure or disappointment. Optimists see the opportunities in setbacks and expect good things to happen in the future. When things go wrong, or there are setbacks, optimists tend to attribute them to non-personal, non-permanent, non-pervasive factors. A pessimist might look for someone to blame or think things always go badly for them.
Be kind to yourself and accept that there are some things you can’t control. Learn from negative life events and move on. Finding meaning in failure and pain is a key element of optimism.
4. Stay in the present
Pessimists tend to stay stuck in the past, brooding over old hurts or failures. If they think about the future, they expect more of the same. They tend to worry about things they can’t change or influence. Optimists, on the other hand, move on quickly from the past and look forward to making their future. They enjoy what is good in the present and expect more of the same!
5. Notice and enjoy what you have.
A good way to promote a positive mindset is to look around you and notice what is good in your life right now. Appreciate all the good things, big and small. Write them down and add to your gratitude journal every day.
Slowing down and taking a mindful approach to life will help you enjoy things more. Finding pleasure in small everyday tasks can turn them from obligations into moments of sensory awareness. Notice the smell, touch, texture, and appearance of those potatoes you’re peeling, feel the sunshine on your face as you walk to work. The more senses you can train to appreciate the world the more pleasure you will get from it and the more optimistic you’ll become.
6. Give yourself some mental space
The 24/7 news cycle and the constant bombardment of social media can make optimism a challenge. Your brain is dealing with an unprecedented amount of information via the internet. In fact, too much information to process. That leads to feelings of helplessness, even paralysis, and fear. But you can choose to bow out of the internet hamster-wheel from time to time. You can stay up on world events and keep in touch with friends without constant checking in to see what has changed.
If you find self-regulation difficult, consider using a timer app for your device that will block access to whatever sites you choose for a certain length of time. Timeout from bad news and competitiveness will reduce your anxiety levels and allow you to focus on what is important.
7. Project Happiness
Try to default to a happy expression. Smiling, even if you’re not feeling especially happy, has been proven to have a positive effect on your body. Smiling changes your brain chemistry and will have an immediate impact on your emotional state, and even reduces blood pressure and stress levels. It’s also infectious – try smiling and making eye contact with the next five people you meet, from a cashier to a colleague, and see what reaction you get. Chances are you will set up a positivity loop!
You can back this up by choosing to think positive thoughts. If your bus is late, you’re waiting in a queue or at the dentist, instead of getting irritable and frustrated make these opportunities to practice mindfulness.
Choosing to develop an optimist mindset is easier than you might think. Every small step, every smile, every positive thought practiced repeatedly will rewire your brain, creating new neural pathways and building new patterns of thought. You really can learn to be optimistic.
And you will see this impact in all areas of your life. You'll feel happier, your body will feel lighter, and the people around you will reflect your happiness back at you. The world will seem a better place.
But it’s not the world that has changed; it's you. And you did it all by yourself.
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