Introduction

Have you ever judged someone incorrectly because of the first impression they gave you? If so, don't beat yourself up too much. We all do it. It happens because of things you can't control unless you consciously try to spot what's happening.

This is because of the subconscious and natural tendencies we all have. Things behind the scenes (below our level of consciousness) influence the opinions we develop about others. Fortunately, you can use these tendencies to your advantage. Let’s look at some of the science.

A Cycle of Self-Fulfilling Feedback

Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? It works like this.

You get an idea in your mind. It may not be the correct perception of reality, but the more you think about it, your subconscious decides it must be important. Otherwise, why would you spend so much mental energy on this thought?

You might have a presentation coming up at work or at school. You have to get up in front of many people and engage in what many people think is one of the scariest things ever ... public speaking.

Many people are more afraid of public speaking than dying. Polls over the decades show that people are less concerned about the inevitability of dying than about getting in front of people and having to speak or give a presentation. So if, in this situation, you're a little anxious about how your presentation is going to go, that's only natural.

What might happen if you're not careful is that expecting yourself to flop can directly lead to that outcome.

It begins a loop of negativity. You expect yourself to fail. So the minute you step up on stage and look out over your audience, your anxiety makes you underperform. People immediately get the impression that you are unprepared or incapable. As you continue your presentation, you see negativity in the eyes of your audience. So you continue to perform poorly.

Your audience begins to anticipate what they have already seen, a bad performance. This loop continues, and you fail in a big way.

Here's another example.

You are introduced to someone that is a total stranger to you. You've never seen this person before. As the two of you are talking, you like what you see. The person seems to know exactly what to say to make you think about them positively. You can tell they are being themselves and not acting unnaturally or putting on a front.

You are laughing and smiling during this conversation. This person you just met notices your behavior is upbeat. Your body language, smile, and gestures show you are having a good time. This subconsciously reinforces in their mind that they should keep doing whatever they do. So they continue to behave and talk in a way that gives you a good impression of them.

This loop feeds upon itself. You each perceive positivity in the other person, expecting that to happen. Those expectations create a positive and enjoyable experience.

Positively or negatively, the first impression you make is accepted as a true picture of who you are in the minds of your audience.

Science Shows Our Brains Make Judgments Sequentially

First impressions researcher Arthur Dobrin says our future judgments are heavily influenced by previous experiences. We judge in a timeline, with previous experiences influencing how we judge people.

Perhaps you meet someone that you find funny and friendly. They leave you with a positive first impression. The two of you are in the same industry, so you trade contact information. You leave that first meeting hoping you will see this person again.

It's now a week later, and you haven't thought about that person. Every year at this time, you put together a coed softball league. A couple of players tell you they are sitting out this year. Somebody has to fill those spots. Your mind immediately thinks of the person you met last week. You contact them, and in your heart, you know they will be perfect for the team.

What's at work here is a psychological process called the halo effect. Psychology Today defines it as the following.

"The halo effect is a phenomenon whereby the perception of positive qualities in one thing or part gives rise to the perception of similar qualities in related things or in the whole."

The person you met was friendly and funny. That left you with a positive first impression of them. The halo effect leads you to automatically believe that those positive qualities indicate the person will also be good at sports.

When you think about it, those two attributes have nothing to do with each other. Someone might be very friendly and terrible at physical activities like playing softball. However, the halo effect has you judging them positively overall just because your first impression was positive in some specific way.

This works with negative first impressions as well.

It's why it is so important to consciously make an effort when meeting people for the first time. Without consciously knowing they are doing it, they judge your total being by what you say and do in the first few seconds you interact with each other.

How they perceive you, positively or negatively, influences how they expect you to perform in every area of your life. We're not saying that's right. We're just saying this happens automatically and unconsciously to all of us.

Understanding this natural psychological process can keep you from making blanket assumptions about people by judging them entirely on your first impression.

How to Get the Science of First Impression Psychology on Your Side

Now you know that people expect you to act in a certain way because of their first impressions of you. You understand that this can create a self-fulfilling behavior loop in both you and your audience. That can be either a good or a bad thing.

You also understand that the halo effect makes people unconsciously judge your entire being because of a singular behavior, attribute, or experience. If their initial impression of you is negative in even the smallest way (you have a weak handshake, you don't smile, you forget their name), they immediately and unconsciously believe that anything you do will be negative.

How can you turn these two bits of psychology in your favor? Just do the following things.

Be Aware of the Impression You Are Giving

Be conscious of the fact that people judge you quickly. Whenever you are in a situation where you meet someone for the first time, remember that in just a few seconds, this new person will form an opinion of you that will heavily influence how they judge every aspect of your being.

Don't walk around with blinders on. You have opportunities every day to consciously make a great impression on other people. Start trying to talk with the strangers that move through your life. Smile and pay them a compliment. Be kind. Comment positively on their haircut or an article of clothing they're wearing.

When you make a habit of greeting strangers positively, you train yourself to leave a good first impression. Then when you are surprised by a chance meeting or experience, you're more likely to act in the same way and make a positive impact.

Make the Other Person Important

Everyone wants to feel important. People deserve to have a sense of value, the feeling that they matter. One of the easiest ways to make a great first impression that lasts forever is to make someone you meet feel like the most important person in the world.

Focus on them. Make your interaction about their needs and desires, and thoughts. Remember, first impressions are often made in just a few seconds. This means quickly letting someone you meet know that you are fully engaged in what they have to say.

Give Compliments

Give compliments. We talked about this earlier. This is a simple but powerful way to make a great impression on somebody. Give assistance. Maybe you hold the door for someone when their hands are full. When they look at you, could you give them a nice smile? Give financial assistance if that is needed. Give your time. There are so many different ways to give to the world.

Adopt a giving mindset. Don't think, "How can I benefit from this interaction?" Instead, think, "How can I give value to this person?"

You'll find that you start moving through your day with a better attitude. It feels really good to give and to help others.

A side benefit is that other people notice. You can leave a positive first impression on several people when your intent is to help one individual. The people that notice your good deed start doing nice things for others. Your unselfish and caring behavior ends up impacting a lot of people in a really great way.

Conclusion

First impressions matter. People psychologically and unconsciously relate their first experience with you to their overall view of who you are. They expect their first interaction to correctly predict everything about you in the future.

Use these scientific facts to your advantage. Take the tips we just shared with you and consciously take the time to make a great first impression. You'll definitely benefit, and so will the people you meet.

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