Improve Your Self Esteem Guide

The First Steps to Improving Your Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is how you view yourself. It’s the lens you look through when you consider who you are. If you have low self-esteem, you may view yourself in a negative way. Instead of thinking about how you have the gift for communication, you see yourself as someone who just can’t shut up.

When you have low self-esteem, it’s easy to fixate on your flaws. But you don’t have to let low self-esteem destroy your confidence. There are simple steps you can take to start building up your self-esteem today.

Stop living in the past.

People with low self-esteem often hold on to their old mistakes. They replay them in their minds again and again, wishing they could do things differently. But the problem is that you can’t change the past.

The first step toward increasing your self-esteem is to forgive yourself and let go of mistakes. One way you could do this is by journaling about your mistake and destroying the pages when you’re finished. Any time you’re tempted to relive your mistakes, remind yourself that those pages of your life are gone and that today’s a new day.

Pursue work that you enjoy.

Low self-esteem can take a toll on your ambitions. You may be stuck at a job you hate because you worry that another employer won’t want you or that you have nothing valuable to bring to another employer.

Building up your self-esteem can help you find work that you’ll enjoy. Start by looking at your current job. What do you enjoy? What areas do you shine in? Try asking your boss these questions or look at your old job reviews for answers.

If you’re in a job you hate and you can’t change it, do things you enjoy in your free time. Pick up an old hobby or look for a new one. This is a simple way to discover talents and abilities that you didn’t know you had.

Finish a project you really care about.

Focus on what you’re naturally drawn to. Maybe you’re crafty and can knit blankets. Maybe you love creating new recipes in your kitchen. When you focus on finishing projects you enjoy, your self-esteem will slowly increase. You’ll start to feel better about yourself and have the energy to do even more of the things you love.

When it comes to building up your self-esteem, understand that it’s a gradual process. Concentrate on taking small steps toward your goals and be kind to yourself when you make a mistake.

Journal Your Thoughts

1. What mistakes do you struggle to forgive yourself for?

2. What do you enjoy about your job? What do you dislike about it?

3. What projects do you enjoy working on in your spare time?

Roadblocks to Believing In Yourself

Believing in yourself is often touted as the cause of success. But if you have low self-esteem, it’s not easy to believe in yourself. You may struggle to step outside of your comfort zone and look for a way to make your life better. You may believe that you don’t have the means to better yourself or that you don’t deserve a better life.

You can change your life and it starts with believing in yourself. But first you have to identify what’s holding you back. Here are three common self-esteem killers that can keep you from living out your true potential.

Comparison

Do you look around and feel like everyone else has a handle on life but you? This is a common feeling, especially in our digital age. Maybe you have a friend on Pinterest who always seems to have a clean house. But you don’t see what her house looks like when the kids have the flu and there hasn’t been time to do any laundry.

Seeing your friend’s good days can leave you feeling like you’re a failure because your house doesn’t look clean all the time like your friend’s house is. When you’re on social media, you’re constantly exposed to the best side of someone’s life. You rarely see the ugly parts, too. It’s important to remember this when you’re scrolling through your news feed.

Past Situations

The past often shapes us and affects us far more than we realize. Negative situations in your past can make it hard for you to believe in yourself. Maybe you were in a toxic relationship with a partner who verbally abused you. Maybe you grew up with an alcoholic parent or maybe you were bullied in middle school.

Your past can be the biggest threat to your present if you don’t take action. It can take a toll on your self-esteem and crush your sense of confidence. If you’ve been in a bad situation in the past, you’ll need to re-train your thought process. You may need the help of a therapist or life coach to help you deal with painful situations from your past that are keeping you stuck.

Current Relationships

Are there current relationships with a dynamic that keeps you questioning yourself? Sometimes, other people can undermine your sense of self-esteem. They may do it subtly by making unkind remarks and dismissing these remarks as jokes. They may discourage you from taking action a project you were really excited about. They may tell you that you’re not good enough to reach your goals.

Few things are more painful than a friend or loved one that is unkind and unsupportive. If possible, try to have a conversation with this person about their behavior. In a healthy relationship, there’s room on both sides for honesty.

But if your loved one or friend still won’t be supportive, you should consider limiting how often you interact with them. If you do have to be around this person for some reason, try to have a nurturing activity planned for yourself later after your interaction.

Just like you can switch your iPod to a different song, you can change your thoughts about yourself from negative to positive. It takes a lot of work and it doesn’t happen immediately. But as you begin to focus on your positive qualities, you’ll experience a boost in your self-esteem and find it easier to believe in yourself.

Journal Your Thoughts

1. Who do you compare your life to? Why?

2. How has a past situation affected your self-esteem?

3. Is there someone in your life that makes you feel insecure? Who is it? In what ways is this person crushing your self-confidence?

Self-Esteem Journal

Congratulations! You’ve taken the first steps toward building up your self-esteem. When you have a healthy sense of self-esteem, you can begin to create a life you’ll love.

Now, it’s time to dig deep and learn more about yourself. Try to find a quiet place so you can spend some time reflecting on the questions. Share your honest thoughts here – there’s no judgement or right answer. You are free to journal, brainstorm, and doodle in this space.

[From: The First Steps to Improving Your Self-Esteem]

1. What mistakes do you struggle to forgive yourself for?

2. What do you enjoy about your job? What do you dislike about it?

3.. What projects do you enjoy working on in your spare time?

[From: Roadblocks to Believing In Yourself]

1. Who do you compare your life to? Why?

2. How has a past situation affected your self-esteem?

3. Is there someone in your life that makes you feel insecure? Who is it? In what ways is this person crushing your self-confidence?

[From: Is It Your Environment that Needs to Change?]

1. In what areas of your life are you playing small? Why?

2. Look at your social circles. Do you surround yourself with positive or negative people? Which people are positive and encourage your growth?

3. When was the last time you tried something new? How did it turn out?

[From: Conquering Negative Self Talk]

1. What are some of the negative things that you think about yourself? How do these thoughts affect you?

2. Flip the script—What are three positive things about yourself that you could replace these thoughts with?

3. What are some ways that you're letting negativity in? How can you find more positive messages?

[From: A Future You Can Believe In]

1. What are the dreams you have that you're afraid to go after? What exactly about your dream scares you?

2. What are some road blocks that are keeping you from being your best self right now?

3. How do you want to leave your mark on the world? What do you want your legacy to be?

Now that you’ve started to increase your self-esteem, you’ll begin to see the world—and more importantly, yourself—differently. This is the first day of the rest of your life.

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