Boundaries: the Key to Balancing Togetherness and Independence

Most people are social creatures. They long to be in the presence of others most of the time. Even introverts, who are often incorrectly seen as loners, feel the need to socialize. They just might do it with a limited number of close friends. Extroverts energize themselves by seeking out positive social interactions.

Introverts and extroverts alike live their best lives when they use smart boundaries to police the actions of themselves and others. The same is true in personal and business relationships.

It's why countries have laws, police forces and judicial systems. Everyone has the best chance at life, liberty and a pursuit of happiness when healthy borders and limitations of behavior are created and enforced.

Maintaining a Healthy Togetherness/Independence Equilibrium

Do you know anyone who always seems to be socializing? They throw the greatest parties, you see them everywhere around town, and you wonder if they ever sleep. This person might be the life of the party, but how is his career going? Are his personal relationships healthy?

Any area of your life can suffer greatly if you spend too much time or energy on some other aspect of your life. This is where boundaries can help create a healthy balance.

Boundaries are like lines in the sand. You tell yourself and other people that if they step over that line, there will be consequences. It's important to note that we all need these healthy restrictions not only because other people may behave in a destructive way, but because we might as well.

Too much independence can lead you to believe you only have to worry about yourself. Embrace that attitude and you will eventually be a very lonely person. People won't want anything to do with you because of your selfishness.

You can make mistakes in the other direction as well. You devote too much time to a relationship and don't commit any energy to yourself as an individual. Tending towards an extreme in any direction can be harmful to the strongest of relationships.

Ask for Input to Develop Balance in Your Relationships

Sit down and make a list of the people you truly care about. These aren't mere acquaintances. They are the most important people in your life. Think of ways you can change your behaviors so you and another person in a relationship both benefit.

Then talk with that person. Let them know they are important to you. You want to make sure you don't step on their toes and they don't overstep some boundaries that are important to you. Communicating this way can help you create a balanced life. Your unique character has plenty of independent rein. You also enjoy a healthy amount of togetherness with the important people in your life.

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